PF, biotch!

From a philosophical perspective of reason...to also understand from a metaphysical/spiritual perspective, a one Pete Fraser, the one I lovingly call my 'non-relationship'. Perhaps it is something of my subconscious which does not allow me to engage with him in a productive way because my subconscious knows he is such an ill fit for me. There is truth in our connection on a physical level, and certainly a tantric sub-atomic particle level, (i.e. my higher chakras light up during our communion), however, in the realm of human to human communication there is much to be desired. Though he seems to be well versed in American politics, much more so than I am, I get the sense that I may be a good deal more cerebral than he. I have not had a conversation with him that stretches the limit of my intellect. I have also not had many conversations with him which are not in a drunken state.

I do not tend to engage with him when I am happy and content in my studies or my music but rather call him when I am 'on one'. I wonder certainly if he would be welcoming of an interaction with me when I am not in that state. Perhaps he represents for me VICE.

Ultimately he is not a relevant suitor because it seems he has no ambition or drive. He sells trees for a living and parties all the time. The destructive child in me is attracted to him. I am putting that part of my personality to rest and allowing other aspects of my personality live.

There are other people I am better suited to. When the vibration matches I will not feel hesitant to speak my mind or voice my opinion because I will not feel that my intellect will make the man feel insecure, which is why I have deduced I am at times non-vocal. Granted, each person has his/her own fortes and areas of expertise and we can all learn from one another in our understanding.

Why can't men I meet be Knox Ziegler without being Knox Ziegler? Or Mark Siegel? Perhaps the very nature of our platonic relationship is the reason for our easeful conversation.

It seems the key will be to treat the men I am in bed with as if they are platonic friends and not put them on a pedestal.